First realize that no matter what is happening in your world, whether you have a relationship, work or financial issues, how you deal with these crises is completely under your control. Even dire health problems fall into this category – your choice of how you view the challenge, whether with acceptance, peace or fighting spirit can help in even the most difficult circumstance. It all comes down to the right attitude. We all know those who were told by their physician that they had a serious condition and basically were written off but due to their persistence and motivation they overcame the odds and still live full lives. Or, they made peace with what was to be their journey and they spent their remaining days in the embrace of their friends and family – living life on their terms.
Positive thinking is very crucial. Period. But how can you do it when you feel your whole world is tumbling down around you?
Start by realizing that there is a situation, an issue that you do not want to become a permanent condition in your life. You have to get out of it. Then start to explore your options or how you will choose to perceive and address the issue. Can you get more autonomy at work, for example? Do you have another option on the table? Other offers? If you cannot stand your present place of employment, understand and pinpoint the reason that you and your supervisor do not get along. Is it your performance? Is it his/her performance? Is it bad chemistry or something else? There’s always something else that can be done to alleviate or change the situation. Or, you can change your thinking in how you view the situation. The theory of deduction is alive and well at this point. Results are a flowchart of actions taken.
All of us make mistakes but we need to learn from them. It is OK to make mistakes as long as we learn from them. This is how we evolve and how we grow. All we have to do is pay attention.
Visualize where you want to be and where you want to go. Try to prioritize. Realize that you deal first with the most important burning issue and everything else can wait. Next, start planning. At one point I did not believe strongly in planning until I realized that there has to be some sort of a road-map to follow and every day can not be a “fly by the seat of your pants” experience. To me, planning is crucial for direction – just like a plane or ship navigating to its destination. You have to have something to shoot for in the distance.
Do everything to make it happen or even exceed it. Always want to try to overshoot your goal, if you can, so even if you don’t reach it you are still within range.
Don’t let the little things rattle you. The older you grow in life, the more you realize how inconsequential those little things are to the overall picture. Prioritize and…prioritize.
Everything can be resolved if, at first we acknowledge there is a problem, we identify it and we are open to finding a solution. Each day is precious and we are not guaranteed the next hour, let alone tomorrow. So, start feeling good about yourself. Stay motivated by surrounding yourself with positive and inspirational people, material and circumstances. Start celebrating everything positive in your life. Don’t wait until you win the war. Wars were never won overnight but one battle at a time. Wars are hard-fought. Feeling good about yourself means you have to take care of your body, your mind and your spirit. According to Socrates, “Sound body makes for a sound mind.” Join a gym, play a sport or even set time for some vigorous walking provided it is not contraindicated. Get out of your own way.
Love your family, love your friends, love what you do. Give back. All this is going to make you feeling better about yourself. Be enthusiastic about life. Yes the game has changed and it is not what it used to be, but it never is. We can definitely flourish if we are willing to adjust and reinvent ourselves and are also willing to learn.
It is very easy to discount everything and always look for excuses or blame other people.
But all of us experience lulls and if we are willing to embrace change, the time to climb back up again will be substantially shorter. Just do not get complacent – ever – and blame every circumstance around you for where you find yourself today.
There you are, you have got the basics of the commonsensical formula. All you have to do is apply it to your circumstances – consistently – not just for one hour, or one day or one month. This has to be for a lifetime.
As a friend used to say, “wherever you go, there you are.” To happy years ahead.
Posted: March 29, 2014
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